LIVEN UP FORKS!
by warrior4life 44
Summary: Follow the Cullens as they attempt to make Forks less boring! What's up with Bella going off about the CIVIL WAR? Jasper LOSING IT? Emmett's PRANKS and DETENTION! LOTS AND LOTS OF THAT FUN STUFF ARE AHEAD! READ IF YOU DARE ;) PROMISE TO MAKE YOU LAUGHT ;)


**ME: HEY EMMETT GUESS WHAT I HAVE!**

**EMMETT: WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? *GETS EXCITED***

**ME: I -I GOT A...ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?**

**EMMETT: YESS! CAN YOU GET THIS OVER WITH AUTHUR?! I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO**

**ME: IGOTAVAMPIRECAT!**

**EMMETT: OMC NO WAY!**

**ME: WAY!**

**EMMETT: *CALLS CARLISLE* CARLISLEEEEE CAN YOU GET ME A VAMPIRE CAT?!**

**CARLISLE: NO.**

**EMMETT: PLE-**

**CARLISLE: NO EMMETT *HANGS UP***

**EMMETT: CARLISLE SAID NO *SULKING***

**ME: WELL...I CAN GIVE YOU MINE..ONLY IF I OWN TWILIGHT**

**EMMETT: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!? *STARTS SOBBING***

**ME: .TWILIGHT.**

**EMMETT: NO! YOU'LL NEVER HAVE IT!**

**ME: JUST LIKE YOU'LL NEVER HAVE A VAMPIRE CAT ! *STICKS TONGUE OUT***

**So there you have it..I don't own Twilight! ENJOY!**

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BPOV

Right now I was in my third period class, American History, with Emmett and Jasper. This class couldn't get any more boring! All Mr. Grant did was talk about the Civil War non-stop. I couldn't even talk to Em or Jazz cause Grant split us up because apparently we "dissrupted" the class with our "shenanigansism".

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Jasper in back of the classroom looking as if his head is about to blow up. Obviously Grant's jab at the Confederates is getting to him already. Whereas Jasper is in the back, Emmett is in the front, and by the looks of it, it looks as if he's about to fall asleep, that's how bored he looked! And VAMPIRES DON'T SLEEP! So that's saying something. So with Jasper and Emmett in the back and front, I was left in the middle. Mr. Grant or Mr. Needs-to-get-laid as I like to call him, split us up so it was impossible to talk or find a cure of this boredom.

I signed as I looked at the clock and notice not even 10 minutes has passed by since class started! Ughh, I have 80 more minutes of this! I honestly don't know why we keep coming back to high school! It's _so_…boring!

Right now Grant was going on and on about how the Unions all high and mighty, which pissed me off to no end.

"…so what I'm trying to get across to you is that the Confederacy lost because they had no reason to fight. Also the fact that they didn't have the men…or the food," with this he let out a laugh and I narrowed my eyes. "Or, or the ammunition. I can't even see them even thinking of winning the war!" Now he was doubled over with laughter. _Twat._

"Now," he said as he got over his laugh attack. "Any questions? Opinions?"

"Bet that's not what you thought when Lee went through your _precious_ generals, fucking twat. Just shut up already Mr. Needs-to-get-laid it's not our fault your wife deprive you of it," I muttered as I crossed my arms across my chest. It wasn't like me to snap like that but that's plain disrespectful! Especially when there's a vampire Confederate soldier that is about on the verge to rip your scronny head off.

Damn, I'm hanging around Jasper too much. Oh well, he's practically my brother and like I said _no_ teacher is gonna prance around and degrade his history!

Suddenly I heard roars of laughter coming from around me. I lifted my head up to see everyone laughing, Emmett was…well Emmett he was laughing so hard if he was human you know he'd be crying I turned around and Jasper, oh Jasper. He was the funniest, he was literally on the floor roaring with laughter!

"Nice-," he said gasping through his laughter, "one-," *laughter* "Bella."

_Shit!_ I said that _that_ loud?!

Suddenly the laughter became contagious, no thanks to Jasper of course!

"Mr. Needs-to-get-laid," Emmett boomed through his fits of laughter.

Everyone was laughing and even the skimpiest girls were giggling their heads off. "Yeah his wife totally like deprive him," one giggled.

"QUIET!" Mr. Grant yelled in pure, _pure_ anger behind me.

My eyes grew wide as I turned around to find Mr. Grant flaring with anger and frustration. _Sexual_ frustration. I giggled as I tried to hide my laughter and keep a straight face.

"DETENTION MISS McCARTY!" He shouted so loud that I'm sure everyone in the school heard him.

"What?!" Jasper yelled. "You're giving her detention for expressing her opinion on a topic?!"

"Mr. Hale! Would you like detention as well?" Grant shouted across the room looking as if he was about to explode.

"That's utterly unfair! She did NOTHING wrong! You asked if we had questions or OPINIONS and she shared!"

By now every head in the class was turned towards Mr. Grant. It was like a tennis match between him and Jasper but before Grant could answer someone yelled.

"Looks like he really, really needs to get laid. Right Bells, huh," the voiced boomed, a voice that could only belong to Emmett.

I looked at him as did everyone in the classroom and in seconds I was in a fit of laughter. I was laughing so hard _I_ would have had tears streaming down my face! Everyone in the room burst into a loud chaotic set of laughs, tears ruining some of the girls make up and stained some of the guys faces.

"THAT'S IT!" Mr. Needs-to-get-laid roared. "MISS McCARTY, MR. McCARTY, MR. HALE _SATURDAY_ _DETENTION_! NOW GET _OUT_ OF MY CLASS!"

If I thought he looked angry before he was beyond it right, he was livid! He angered red face was slowly turning blue as he pointed towards the door.

"Gladly," I smirked and Emmett, Jazz and I walked out.

As soon as we were out of hearing range we busted into laughter again as we leaned against the lockers, sliding down to sit on the floor.

Finally after a good 10 minutes the laughter died down.

"I never knew you had it in you Bella," Emmett scoffed. "I now know not to underestimate you," as he let out another laugh.

"Yeah Bells," Jasper laughed, "thanks for backing me up in there."

"Eh, we're family," I smiled. "And _no one_ messes with family."

He smiled and was about to say something but was cut off by a high pitched voice.

"You're definitely a Cullen," she shrieked as she danced down the hallway towards me. Alice.

Edward and Rosalie were on her heels as she came over and pulled me up so I was now standing.

I laughed and Edward came over to me and gave me a peck on the lips.

"You sure are unpredictable," he grinned my favorite crooked smile.

"And you love it," I laughed.

"You're amazing Bella!" Rose beamed. "I didn't think you had it in you, gotta say I'm surprised. We saw the whole thing from the window!"

Rose and mine relationship has gotten _way_ better over the years, especially now that I was already a vampire. It's been 105 years since I was changed and to say I am happy is the understatement of the last two centuries!

We started over and over again to keep up appearances and to stay longer in new places. Did I mention that Emmett and I are now siblings? Well, since I joined the family we thought we would need a good cover story so here's the down play: Emmett was my brother, a year my senior, and Rose and Jasper weren't twins this time, Rose was now a year older than Jasper and Edward and Alice were now twins also Esme's niece and nephew. As for Esme and Carlisle, they had a kind heart to take in Esme's niece and nephew when they were young and then later adopted the rest of us because they love kids so much and since Esme couldn't have kids they resorted to adoption.

Right now, we were back in Forks. Oh, how I actually missed this place. The last time I was here was when Charlie died, 60 years ago to be précised. He died of a peaceful death at the age of 86. Of course I didn't actually go to his funeral but I stayed nearby, out of sight, during it.

I've gotten over Charlie's death, it's not like I don't miss him but over time it grew less and less.

Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted as Edward spoke to me.

"Coming Love?" he asked as the others walked towards the exit into the parking lot.

I nodded as I took his hand and walked out trailing the others towards our cars.

There in the middle of the parking lot were our cars, our _babies_. Well mine and Rose of course. Rose still had a glistening red BMW M3 but a way newer model than what she had back when I was human and I, I had a blue ray metallic convertible Camaro. I was the perfect car for me and I absolutely loved the speed!

Emmett was sitting on the BMW's hood with Rosalie in his arms leaning on the car, while across them Jasper was leaning on my car with Alice leaning on him. Edward and I were in the same position as Em and Rose except I was sitting on the hood of the Camaro while Edward leaned in front of me and I draped my arms around his shoulders.

We all decided to skip the period as the timed passed by and just sat there and mindlessly talk.

"So since Bells, Jazz and I have detention," Em pondered. "You three should join us," he smirked towards Rose, Alice and Edward.

"Emmett I will not take part in your childish games at school!" Edward was the first to object.

"Aw, come on!" he whined. "We'll be bored in there with some weirdos that might be sizing up Bella! Wouldn't you want to be there to kick their asses?" I swear Emmett did have his ways of getting to Edward, as he finally gave in.

"So how bout it girls?" Jasper asked. "Care to join us?"

Alice smirked and nodded, clearly already knowing what's going to happen.

"Why the hell not? It's about time this place livens up, it's so old and _boring_" Rose shrugged.

"Forks better get ready because we're gonna make this party central!" Emmett boomed as we all laughed at his idiocy.

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**HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED IT!**

**IT'S MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT COMEDY WRITING. EVER!**

**NEXT CHAPTER IS GONNE BE MORE GETTING INTO DETENTION! SUGGEST SOME CRAZY THINGS YOU WANT TO HAPPEN AND IT SHALL APPEAR ! LOL LOVE YOU GUYS!**

**R&R 3**


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